A new low for Bank of America

Warning: if you have a banking problem and if, like me, you are a Bank of America business customer by virtue of a corporate round-up (my original perfectly fine BayBank was bought by BankBoston -- nee Bank of Boston -- which was bought by Fleet which was bought by ... ), don't call them. Let me make this more succinct and clear: if you, a business customer, have a problem, it will cost you $30 EVERY TIME YOU CALL THEM!

Sorry about the screaming. I know. You're thinking what I said. This can't possibly be true. "Yes, that's right. That's why we have our self-service center." Self-service center? Sorry, I've never heard of that. How long has that been around? "We've always had it." Always? Online banking hasn't *always* been around, I reasoned. But then I remembered: $30/per call+customer service ≠ logic.

I was sufficiently indignant that he waived the fee - just shortly before I said that going forward, every time Bank of America contacts me, I'll be charging them $30 and sending them hefty invoices since they're constantly sending me unsolicited material.

Not long thereafter, we were "disconnected," which is my way of assuaging my feelings, i.e. I don't want to believe he hung up on me because that would be really insulting to a customer who'd just, in desperation over being told to go to the library if I didn't have a fax machine because that's the only way my problem could be solved -- faxing forms back and forth in, am I wrong, 2012? -- I insisted on being transferred to CEO Brian Moynihan's office. That worked like a charm, obviously, resulting in this highly laudatory post for the great customer service at Bank of America.

I almost forgot: this whole saga began at the local branch with them giving me a number to call. It was the wrong number. They transferred me but before they did I asked for the right number in case I was disconnected. Need I say that they transferred me to the wrong number..where they transferred me to the $30/call number, great for them but oh-so-wrong for me.

And for the record, the last time Bank of America slapped a stupid fee on another small business account of mine, I withdrew my funds and marched down the street to Village Bank, a co-op, that can't be bought by a behemoth. No fees, no minimum balance, great service, online banking.  So there, Bank of America. As son-in-law #1 said, "I'm sure the Board of Directors called an emergency meeting."