"PPPSSEOT(3)SIL: Please, please, please stop sending e-mails over three (3) sentences in length"

If it makes you laugh once (yes, lol), it's a pretty funny piece.

Twice, well, you're thanking Martin Marks, for "E-mail Auto-Response" in October 25, 2010, New Yorker. Some lols:

"Thank you for your e-mail, which, if it is under three (3) sentences long, I have read...

"If your e-mail has been cc’d to three (3) or more people, and includes complicated yet unresolved logistical information regarding the location, time, or general coördination of an upcoming social gathering involving five (5) or more people, then please wait until two (2) hours after the last respondent has answered and then please call the number provided at the bottom of the e-mail. (Be prepared to detail the conclusions reached by the e-mail chain.)...

"Should you receive a speedy one-to-two-word response, please do not read anything into it. More often than not, such a response doesn’t even correspond to the content of your e-mail..."

And my very favorite:

"In closing, I would like to say that the Internet has become a veritable buzzing, stinging hornet’s nest of pings and pongs and klings and klangs, so please do not e-mail, text-message, instant-message, direct-message, Facebook-message (if you’re still on MySpace or Friendster, that’s just plain creepy), Facebook-chat, iChat, tweet, retweet (don’t even mention Twitter mentions), StumbleUpon, LinkIn with, zoom into, Google Buzz, Plaxify, Jigsaw, Digg, Skype, Spoke, poke, flick, or tag me..."

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