Ah, Verizon. Thy name is customer service

I've had a thing or two to say about Verizon in the past so I've paved the way for the latest.

Verizon changed its website. Nothing offensive there only it's now impossible to log in. Neither my login or my password works anymore and the resetting process also appears to be broken.

Well, perhaps it's all operator error on my side but when I called Verizon for help, I received quite a few sighs from those trying to assist me. Of course, they were all in the wrong department. Eventually someone gleefully transferred me to the "right" department only it was apparently the Verizon Wireless department, which seems to be all of Verizon, since all the choices were referencing that as in, Please type or say your Verizon Wireless Number, which I don't have. Shame on me, old-fashioned person, I was calling about a land line. Imagine!

After I didn't have my wireless number or trouble with my wireless number or have questions about my wireless bill, I eventually reached the website assistance department and it was...

Closed.

So I wrote to them (another 10 minutes of investigation to find a way to do that) and received this response: Please call xyz #, which was the same number, etc and so on.

I wrote again. This time I got this response from Vicki (not to be confused with Victoria, whom you will see, was not in today):

Dear J. Lipnack,

Thank you for your prompt response. My name is Vicki, and I am responding for my associate Victoria who is out of the office today. I apologize for the delay and the difficulty you are having. While you can contact us directly at (8866) 326-7937, because that line is minimally staffed, you will experience a lengthy hold time.

Instead, I will be happy to confirm your user ID via email. If this is agreeable with you, please confirm your answer to "What is the name of your first school?".

Once I receive your response, I will proceed accordingly. In the meantime, if you have additional questions, please let me know. I look forward to serving you.

Thank you for using Verizon. We appreciate your business.

Sincerely,
Vicki

Verizon eCenter

Really? They appreciate my business? Vicki/Victoria. Wasn't that a movie?