Endless Knots

Two hearts for the iPad writers

When grandsons Lake and Finn were born last September, my friend Donna warned me that something unexpected was about to happen. "You grow another heart," she said. In our case, I'm afraid I'm growing two. I've done my best to keep the boys mainly off the blog. I mean, who wants to read about someone else's grandchildren? But then something happens that I think you'll enjoy so please indulge me as I share two posts - this and the next.

What prompts this one was an interaction they had last night, which I wish I'd been able to video.

The boys are identical twins, an endlessly complex and fascinating relationship that is rare. If Wikipedia is right: barely .2% of the world population, only 10 million of nearly 7 billion people, is in a pair of identical twins. As you likely know, Identical twins happen when a fertilized egg splits into two embryos. So what was one becomes two - completely different from fraternal twins.

Watching the twins interact is, of course, endlessly fascinating. When they were newborns, they would be put down near each other and invariably they would find a way to drift together. Now they're getting big enough to really notice each other and act on it.

Last night was such a time. They'd had dinner (see next post), taken their baths, and were listening to a little bedtime music that their dad had chosen, in this case, "Paperback Writer." Naturally, we expect great things of them (and for them to follow precisely in their grandparents' footsteps) but probably they won't put out any paperbacks, thus the title of this post. Perhaps they will be iPad writers.

They've got fine taste in music, naturally. They like the Beatles. They like "The Wheels on the Bus." They like "Itsy-Bitsy Twinnies" (formerly "Itsy-bitsy Spider"). Thus they were groovin' to the tunes when the following happened. Lake on the left, reaching out for Finny, who'd rolled over to inspect what his brother was doing, leading to Lake defending himself, all of which ended with a squeal or two from Finn and a very triumphant Lake. Double click the pics to see the sequence.

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Freda, the "breast whisperer"

Elissa Gootman's full page profile of "The Breast Whisperer" Freda Rosenfeld, the Brooklyn lactation consultant, in today's NY Times, is mandatory reading for nursing mothers, pregnant mothers, fathers of nursing babies, mothers of nursing mothers, and maybe even the babies themselves. I've seen Freda at work. Gold medal performance.

Baby feet -- speak for themselves

Baby love, my bab(ies) love

So a woman walks into a conference.

The registrar hands her her packet, in which is the woman's badge and speaker ribbon.

Newly grandmothered and having spent the past four weeks with the little twitchlings, the woman has to remove the adhesive protector from the ribbon and paste it onto her badge.

"Where is the stickie on the other side of the diaper?' she thinks...

 
 

"You want to pay $10?"

Image from Mashu.com (thanks)

One thing about little babies: Whatever stuff you've got lying around likely is not what you need for them.

Case in point: the babies in this abode needed their temps taken with a special little kids' thermometer, which, cutting to the chase here, required many trips back and forth to pharmacy. You wouldn't think a little thermometer could require much in the way of parts or ancillary appliances but, trust me, if you think that, you've never taken care of a preemie.

So I was ping-ponging back and forth to pharmacy. Until I ran out of money and had to put the final purchase of $6.33 on a card.

"$10 minimum," said the clerk when I handed him the card.

"OK, charge me $10."

"You want to pay $10?" How could you, he said without saying.

"It's fine."

"But it's only $6.33."

"I need to go. Just do it," I insisted and, as he took the card back, with the incredulous head shake that made me think I was slightly crazy, an Andy Jackson materialized in my pocket. Bless you, Mr. President.

Are you up yet?

Three weeks plus six days ago, Lake and Finn were born, eight weeks premature.

Many people have written asking how they're doing and, as I generally don't write specifically about family matters on the blog, I haven't been inclined to post about them. However, I can always make an exception or two when a picture says everything.

But first: both boys are perfectly fine. Absolutely no medical problems, for those of you who have worried on our behalf. Nothing wrong except they're little and very young. Both are home; Lake has been for over a week; Finny came home last Friday. And now life really begins. Our friend, Priscilla Harmel, a fabulous photographer, has taken many pictures of them already, including the second one.

 

No matter how far apart they are when they're put down,
they seem to gravitate toward each other

And intertwine

Lake was really happy when Finny came home

We were too.

Act 2: Scene 1 - Hip bone not connected to thigh bone

Now we're into the next phase. "My person," previously revealed to be Daughter #1, who spent about as long in the hospital as anyone I've ever known, and who, along with Son-in-Law #1, has two beautiful identical twin boys to show for it, is no longer a patient at the hospital but the little guys are, being premature and all.

Just when I thought I'd gotten the hang of the antepartum floor, with all its equipment, numbers, and terminology, now there's a whole new specialty to pretend that I understand, nod knowingly about as various numbers flash and cause alarms to go off, however briefly, new faces to connect to names, and I could go on but won't right now because I want to capture this:

Now truly I am without any medical training and so I can't make any kind of judgment about medical choices, which have overall seemed quite good (the results, healthy mom and babies speak for themselves), but I can make some judgments about the cross-boundary communication I see in this hospital. I know something about this topic, in fact, I know quite a bit about cross-boundary communication and I'd have to say that the handoffs here could benefit from some improvement.

If someone has been a patient for nearly eight weeks in an institution and then that person's little babies become patients in the very same institution, indeed, in the very same building, you might think that there would be some kind of communication between the departments. Perhaps medicine is the last bastion of silos (quiet down, I can hear a thousand boisterous voices saying, "Nay, *my* industry is even more silo-ed") so perhaps medicine is the penultimate bastion. Regardless of where it ranks in the stack, the lack of same is pretty astonishing.

While I have no quarrel with the care any of the family has received (well, maybe a little nit here and a tiny gripe there), I don't see the basics in play here. I've seen doctors on the maternity service shrug their shoulders when asked about people in neonatology and I've yet to see anyone from maternity on the neonatal floor. Granted, I'm not there all the time but our little people are now a week old and I have been in the hospital every day...but more than that, I can see a number of ways to connect the two departments so as to make things better for mother and child(ren). Simple stuff really, none of which I'm going into here as it brushes up against my people's privacy.

But, hospital-people, if any of you is reading, ask me. I have a jugful of ideas for seamless care, which I think could help everyone, including staff.

And, I will say this: there should be easy access to healthy snacks and water for new parents right on the NICU floor. If you don't bring it in, you've got to go buy it. At least provide free water. New moms in particular really need that. Costs $1.75 a pop in the vending machines where, by the way, there is no fruit. Lots of candy, however. Lots.

And there should be a comfortable place near their babies for the new moms to rest (dads too but honestly they didn't just go through one of the great body quakes of all time: giving birth) during the day while caring for their kiddies. Healthier moms have healthier babies. Simple as that.

The next act: Lake and Finn

Identical twin lights

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

At 11:59 AM and 12 noon

Phineas "Finn" Richard Albany, 3 lbs, 1 oz, 19 inches

and

Lachlan "Lake" Elias Albany, 4 lbs, 3 oz, 19 inches

Little boys

born to

Miranda Stamps and Jay Albany

New York, NY

Scene 10: To my "bleaders"

Unlike everyone else I know, I have not been able to make time to see "Julie and Julia," the movie, but I have had time to read the book, which has made me forevermore grateful to its author, Julie Powell, for the neologism that captures the spirit of you, dear BLog rEADERS.

The post that follows explains why I've been such a poor blogger of date and...for those of you who've dropped me notes, asking what's been happening with "my person," as per the previous paragraph, blead on.